Ronnie Tkachuk

So my dad is living with me these days. It has been a fairly stressful endeavour. You see my dad is not well. He is only 60 yrs old but has the body of a worn out 90 year old. Dad doesn't think to clearly and is compulsive about his stuff. I recently helped clean out the house he was living in and we had to use a 30 cubic dumpster 4 times to get most of the crap out. Dad had frozen food in his deep freeze from 2000 that he wanted to keep. He could never let a good deal go by. In the last few years his health has deteriorated and he now cannot hold his head up. The other night he asked me to help him to lie on the ground so he could stretch out his neck. As I helped him move gingerly to the ground he whimpered in pain as tears filled his eyes. At that moment I felt great compassion for this man who has made the bad choices that have brought him to this state.
It is hard to see your dad so frail and in so much pain. I weep for him and pray that this pitiful existence would be short. Don't get me wrong: I don't want my dad to die, but I don't want him to be in the emotional and physical pain he deals with on a daily basis. He won't make the requisite changes that are needed to have a better quality of life. He just doesn't have it in him. For many years I was angry and dissappointed with him. Now I think he just did the best he could. I have talked to him about God and about his days that are quickly coming to a close. He still frustrates me at times. But I love him and more than anything I want him to know that. I want him to know he is loved. I want him to know that in many ways I am proud of him. He is special and a beautiful creation. I want him to know that God loves him and accepts him as he is.