If the NHL were the WWE ...

If the NHL were the WWE ...

Announcer: And that's Steve Staios with the puck behind the Oiler net, with Edmonton and Calgary still awaiting the first goal an— oh, the humanity!! What's Staios doing? He put the puck right into his own net! Why did he … No!!! (Staios pulls off his Oilers jersey, revealing a Flames jersey underneath) No!!! No, Staios! One of the biggest betrayals in NHL history has just been committed folks! And now what's he... OH NO! (Staios proceeds to power bomb Oiler goalie Jeff Deslauriers) Staios has lost it! He has completely lost it!! What a despicable, disgraceful move!! (Staios somehow finds a chair and whacks Shawn Horcoff with it, before skating over to the Calgary bench and high-fiving the other Flames while Oiler fans boo and throw garbage). I cannot believe what I just saw! Unbelievable! We can only hope the Oilers get some revenge at the next pay-per-view...

And finally ...

Some phrases you will never hear after a trade

"He's a good Top 12 forward."
"He's a solid one-way player."
"He's a great stay-away-from-home blue-liner."
"He's a real regular-season performer."
"He'll be able to eat up at least one, maybe two solid minutes of ice time per game."
"He's got a tremendous downside."