What kind of Friend am I????

I have been thinking a lot lately about my relationships and friendships? Just what kind of friend am I? What kind of friends do I have? Who are the people that are attracted to me and want to be my friend? I guess at the prodding of my wife I am looking at my relationships more closely. Who do I care about? Who really cares about me? Who are the friends that take an interest in my life and am I doing the same with them. Over the years I have had many close friends with whom I have spent a lot of time. Then as time goes by we seem to drift away. Is this the normal course of realtionships? Or am i just the kind of person that engenders or engineers these types of relationships. I would say I am still friends with these people but we see each other occassionally (mostly at my request) and somehow it is different.
As I think about it I realize I have no male "best friends" these days.
Vanessa is my best friend as it should be and that is great, but....I can't help but think that its not good to be in this space. And yet at the same time I dont want to start up another friendship or renew an older one only to have it fizzle out in a year or two. There is one person that I have been reconnecting with and it is good but he has lots of support and friends and I am really just a benchwarmer. I am not feeling sorry for myself I am just looking at this objectively. I don't feel sad about it. There is part of me that feels like this should bother me and I am slightly disturbed at my apathy. When I was younger I was never at home. I always wanted to be out and doing something with my friends and now that I am older I love being alone and having time to read. I don't know. I just don't know. I know what "Mens Ministries" would say. They would say that I am a typical man who has no close relationships. That I don't understand my feelings and that I need to have the accountability that comes from hanging with other men. Well I say that is a "buttload of crap". First off, hanging with men does not make one accountable. Secondly, I am one of the most "understand your feelings" kind of person that I know. My wife sometimes thinks I am a chick its sooo bad. I think I am just rambling now and really am not getting any answers. So I will leave it and come back to this theme again later.